Another Abuse Claim Shows Familiar Pattern of Predatory Grooming

A claim of sexual abuse against a Minnesota teacher details a common pattern of predatory grooming.  There’s no way to know at this point whether the teacher is guilty of the charges, but the alleged facts, if true, follow a very common trajectory.

The teacher, who was respected enough to be named Teacher of the Year right before the alleged relationship began, allegedly cultivated a close and trusting relationship with the student’s mother.  The student says he gave her special attention, and hired her to babysit his children.  The story also indicates that the student’s mother trusted the teacher enough to allow him to transport the victim to various destinations.

To the extent that any of these actions occurred, they should have raised red flags about the relationship.  As we often remind our clients, it can be difficult for administrators and parents to diagnose the difference between a healthy mentoring relationship and a predatory grooming situation.  The three red flags are (1) favoritism, (2) isolation, and (3) boundary violations.  In this case, the teacher gave the student special favors, spent quite a bit of time alone with her, and discussed sexual topics before moving to sexual contact.

Youth organizations want to encourage healthy mentoring, but we have to have strong boundaries to prevent predatory relationships.  For example, It rarely is a good idea for staff to hire students for babysitting or other work.  Such employment creates opportunities for both favoritism and isolation, and rarely offers benefits that students couldn’t get from working with other people instead.

Strong, consistent, and enforceable boundaries are the only way to prevent grooming situations in our organizations.  Our goal should be to create a culture of consistent and healthy accountability for all of the adults in our program.